


The sooner you let go

by orphan_account



Category: Just Roll With It (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Moving On, death mention, spoiler warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26373160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Taxi tells Sylnan that he needs to accept what happened.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Taxi & Sylnan Vengolor, Ugarth & Sylnan Vengolor
Kudos: 20





	The sooner you let go

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short drabble I wrote yesterday while I was sad

It stung. Really bad. Thinking how he’d been taken, how he’d died. All so unjust. So heart-wrenchingly corrupt and frustrating that his friend’s life had been traded for his own. It wasn’t acceptable, yet he’d have to come to terms with it sooner or later.

The big speech on comradry, friendship and chivalry or whatever bullshit spewed out of his mouth had not helped. Every time his name was mentioned, Sylnan would just flinch a little, curling back into his shell of emptiness. It wasn’t like when he had lost his father, it was worse. It wasn’t like when he had lost Br’aad, because he had come back. Ugarth was gone, forever.

There was the journal. That was all that remained of the orc that had grown to be family to Sylnan. Although, he couldn’t read it without tearing up. Technically, he couldn’t read it at all, but he had had Br’aad read some of it to him after the rest of the party was sleeping. His brother would lay his head on Sylnan’s shoulder, and he’d rub Br’aad’s shoulder in return, as more of a reassurance that his blood brother wasn’t going anywhere. Br’aad would smile sadly as he read, and sometimes he’d just randomly stop reading to tell Sylnan that he’d missed him, and he was so glad to have him back, and the rest of the party was too.

And sure, it helped a lot. Sylnan had never been more thankful for his brother or his friends. But there was still something missing. He knew exactly what it was one night, talking with Taxi over drinks, as Mountain and Br’aad sung off-key tavern songs and Velrisa tried her best to pretend she was annoyed rather than amused. Hilltree was asleep silently at the foot of Sylnan’s barstool, Hera sighing audibly as she wiped down empty tables.

“-so you can see why ‘Tube Dog’ is such a stupid name!” Taxi declared loudly over the ruckus of the tavern. Oh, they were still talking about the elephant.

“Yeah. Hey, Taxi?”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“Why’d you name him Ugarth?”

“What do you mean?”

“I-” Sylnan paused and sighed heavily. “There’s something wrong.”

“What’s new?” Taxi scoffed, sipping his drink. The tabaxi looked to his friend, realising that maybe now wasn’t the time for humor, despite whatever amount of alcohol he had ingested.

“Ha.” Sylnan repressed a groan of annoyance. “I’m serious.”

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“There’s been a... problem, that’s been irking me for a while. Ever since... uh, I came back.”

Taxi nodded for him to continue.

“Ugarth, was a good person.” Sylnan continued. “He was like, the dad I never had, or a second brother, but older. I didn’t even get to say goodbye properly and it just sucks that he’s gone!”

“And ever since then, you’ve been looking for something?” Taxi prompted.

“Yeah, I think so. How’d you know?”

Taxi hummed. “Hm. Something similar.” He pointed a claw at the right side of his chest.

“That... make sense, I guess.” Sylnan glanced at Br’aad. “I wish I knew what it was. Br’aad’s been really helpful lately, but even he doesn’t know what it could be.”

Taxi turned around. Mountain was now solo on the makeshift stage, and Br’aad had wandered over to poor Velrisa, who looked absolutely mortified as he tried to drag her up to the stage in front of the whole bar. Vel was hissing under her breath at him to stop. Br’aad didn’t seem to care, persistently tugging her arm with little success. Taxi turned back to the older brother.

“Closure.”

“Hm?” Sylnan has spaced out, watching their friends’ shenanigans.

“You’re looking for closure. You want revenge. But they aren’t the same thing.”

“The blue orc is dead.”

“His name was Sa-”

“Don’t care. He doesn’t deserve a fuckin’ name.” Sylnan almost spat.

“Fair, but that’s exactly the point I’m trying to get across.” Taxi insisted. “Listen, you think you want the blue orc dead. And he is, and you still don’t feel better. That’s because you need closure, not vengeance. Avenging Ugarth is part of that, yes, but you’ve still got to move on and accept that they’re both gone for good.”

Sylnan stared down into the golden, murky depths of the half-filled mug of mead. “I’ll try my best, Taxi.”

“Good.” Taxi smiled proudly. “Now, shall we join Br’aad and Mountain for a little sing-a-long?”

Sylnan smirked and chuckled a bit. “Don’t push it, cat-man.”

If only Taxi knew how wrong he had been.


End file.
